Building Boundaries

What do the planner, pillow and running shoes above have in common?  Read on to find out…

We are readily accessible any time of day or night without regard to geography.  Want to have a cup of coffee with someone hours away?   No worries, just set a time and a Zoom call.  There you are face to face.  Want to attend a class or seminar that is too far away to fit into your travel schedule?  No worries, just log onto the internet link.  These are just a few of the incredible conveniences of our electronically connected world.

But, in my opinion, there is a downside.  We are always accessible.  We juggle being present at any time day or night, looking for legitimate reasons for downtime because we feel obligated to fulfill as many requests as possible, simply because it is possible.  For many of us it is just really hard to say no, or draw some boundaries when we really need to.  We want to please.  

There is lots of information available indicating that this lack of downtime is contributing to increased stress levels and sleep difficulties.  More and more I hear people talk about how stressed they feel and how hard it is for them to sleep through the night.  We drink teas, take pills and do whatever the next recommendation is to try and remedy these challenges, with limited success.  In my opinion actually scheduling more downtime might be very helpful.  

How is that accomplished, you may wonder?  Have you ever considered concept of boundaries?  We understand boundaries as property lines.  Our homes have boundary lines.  If we live in an apartment of condominium, our boundaries are marked by walls and doors.  If we live in a home with a yard, our boundaries are sometimes unseen and sometimes marked with a fence, but either way, we live within those visible or invisible boundaries.  This time, however, I am not taking about physical boundaries like fences, but unseen boundaries placed around our use of time.

These boundaries are blocks of time intentionally placed into our daily schedules that are purposeful - to promote self care.  The reality is, when we take care of ourselves well, we are much better at caring for those we love, and we accomplish more of what is important to us.  It is a good idea to have time for self care every single day.  Some productive examples are; time for exercise, meditation, planning, sitting down to eat and a good 7 to 8 hours of sleep.  It is also a good idea to have one day out of every 7 that is a day of rest.  It is my belief that we were created with a need for this pattern in order to thrive, not just survive.  People thrive when they make use of boundaries that guard their availability and their use of time.  These boundaries are unseen, but are very real and very helpful.

It is reality that we simply cannot do everything that everyone asks of us.  We need to make priorities and use those priorities as guidelines for how we spend our time.  When we schedule according to our priorities, including self care, we thrive.  We can also honestly answer those requests that just don’t fit into our lives well with the response, “I’m sorry, but I have plans,” because we do have plans!  I earnestly believe that when we can become more intentional about our schedules and have a kind way of saying, “not this time” we will enjoy life more and be more fruitful.  

I challenge you to think about your priorities and what self care looks like for you.

May you experience less stress, better sleep and true inner peace,

Pam